H.O.P.E this 4 letters are very powerful. Without hope, i would not be able to stand up and keep on trying. When you lose hope, that is when your life is meaningless and you lost your direction. My life has been so difficult lately. It is becoming so much tougher every day. I am avoiding people around me. They are trying to help me but I keep on avoiding them. I felt so sorry for them because I know they felt very bad for me. I know I should not be this way,,,running away from people whom I know really care about me. But it is hard to get to people right at this moment... Sorry my dear friends, this is something that I need to do for myself. I really need some time alone to think and to reflect my past actions, to gather my strength and get a grip of myself again. Once I have put all the pieces together, I will definitely go and find all of you. Just so you know friends, you are very important to me. I really appreciate your apprehension towards my current situation and actions. Believe me, I won't be broken and shattered easily. I will continue this journey afresh, anew and chasing after my dreams more confidently than ever before.
I believe there is still hope. I felt this is the worst thing that ever happened. Failing two times in life is really hard to accept. I know I should be grateful that I still have one more chance to prove and improve myself. It does really hard to accept failures. When you really want something and you worked hard for it and in the end things just do not happen as you wish. Iforgot how many times i cried. It is mentally very challenging . Once you failed, your confidence was doomed. My mind is preoccupied with this frightening thought that the same thing might recur in future . It is a question without answer. No one can give me the answer. Only Allah S.W.T knows what is waiting for me in the nearest future.
I trust Him with what was happening. I believe there will be something good come out of this. I can only pray and my destiny is out of my hands. My effort might not be enough or He might have a better plan for me. I won't lose hope. i will put my trust in Him. Time is the best cure for many things. I hope I will get over with this after some period of time.
